Indianapolis Web Design Blog

Freelancers have a leg-up on the other working drones of the world. Stodgy, old-skool business types are mysteriously attracted to our care-free and footloose ways. Like hip, modernized pied pipers, we’re strangely attractive and repulsive at the same time. Just like train wrecks, people want to look at a freelancer but are not sure it’s OK. As a freelancing web designer, it’s your job to show them just how desirable you, and by association, your services are!

• Publications
  • Leave out copies of Macworld, Photoshop User, and/or ID magazine.
  • Be sure to reference a story you read about David Carson or Paul Rand
  • Apologize when you realize that they don’t know who that is. They want to know deep inside - so it may be your duty to teach them.
  • It would not hurt to leave some economic journals laying about, it will demonstrate your finance smarts.
• New Gadgets
  • Use your new iPhone as often as possible.
  • Email them with your iPhone while they’re talking to you, so that they’ll have the pleasant surprise of up-to-date meeting minutes when they get back to their own office.
  • Photograph as many things as you can with your iPhone while in their presence, be sure to make artistic comments about your Rainman-inspired photo album.
  • Take a call with your iPhone or listen to your voicemail over the integrated speakerphone feature. You may need to coordinate this with a friend in advance.
  • Be sure to be noticed pulling out your headphones from your iPhone when they first walk up - that way they realize the coolness of the iPhone and may subconciously make related assumptions about your cool factor as well.
  • Whatever you do, keep your dated Treo out of sight. It’s just not an iPhone.
  • And for the love of God, if you happen to own a zune, hide it underneath copy of MacLife.
• Trends
  • Work in some chit-chat about table-less web layouts into whatever conversation you are having.
  • Be sure to communicate your utter disdain for all things that involve tables.
  • I strongly suggest you get rid of all real tables in your home office to make a point.
  • When the client notices how serious you are about the issue, and begins giving you respect, the sore back you have from sharpening your pencils in your floor-based sharpener and kneeling down in front of your floor-based powerbook will have all been worthwhile.
  • Ask them what browser they use, and after they say “Internet Explorer” or “I don’t know,” step backward and raise one eyebrow.
  • It’s your duty to promote Firefox, for heaven’s sake. Make sure they understand that they are not really browsing until they dump the evil Microsoft Browser.
  • It may be helpful to mention Linux. Since you’re a designer and automatically use a Mac, you won’t actually be able to use or set up Linux; but depending on the client, it may benefit you to put forth the impression of genius.
• Environment
  • It’s ok to show off some imported Japanese desk toys, but don’t get too geeky. Keep things on the light side and only slightly robotic.
  • Bits of pop-art are good. Anything colorful will really catch your client’s eye. A little nudity won’t hurt, it says “I’m a modern and progressive individual with good taste.”
  • If you have a couch or chair at hand, upholster it with a patterned fabric or buy some mini designer throw pillows. Don’t do this while they are actually there, but beforehand.
  • Lighting is important. Your lava lamp from college may work, but it is better to have something new and usb-powered.
• Wardrobe
  • You must have a pair of dark-rimmed glasses. Because without them, you’ll look plain and uninspired, like a Ford Mercury. I don’t care if you don’t need glasses or not. Sure, your eyes will hurt and you’ll have vision like a drunk mole, but take one for the team, ok?
  • If you are fashionally-challenged having a hard time figuring out how to dress, you are allowed to wear the Official Designer Wardrobe.
  • Please see below for the helpful Official Designer Wardrobe Chart. (v1.0)
  • Naturally-blond hair is not officially sanctioned. However, bleaching one’s hair via artificial means is allowed.
  • If you choose to ignore the Official Designer Wardrobe and dress up, you could be seen as a “suit” and risk associating yourself with the evils of “Big Business.”

Technorati Tags: web_designer, web_developer, iphone, macworld, freelancer, gadgets, photoshop_user, paul_rand, david_carson, economic_journal, impress, clients, fashion, graphic_designer, desk_toys, tableless, humor

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at 11:16 am and is filed under Freelance, Web Design. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.